Family Studies
by Mali Kollama
Summary: Kenny's family is too unstable. Craig's family is too boring. Then what family are they supposed to study in Family Studies? -KennyxCraigxTweek Creneek!
1. Who To Stalk?

**A/N**

**CraigxkennyxTweek**

**Creneek!**

**Just a short multichip while I'm supposed to be studying. **

**Hope you enjoy!

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Family Studies

Chapter 1: Who To Stalk?

"I hate this class." Craig Tucker sighs. Family Studies. Bleh. He rests his chin on his palm and closes his eyes for a moment. 'Why did I even take this class?'

"Craig Tucker, you're matched with Kenny McCormick, since he's the only other guy who fucking bothered to take this class you two retards can go together." Miss. Kelly announces to the boys.

'God she's such a bitch. I didn't even know we had a project.' His fingers rub against his temples, trying to process the information. 'I have to stop playing Tetris until 1 in the morning.'

"Hey dude." The ragged boy sits in the now empty chair beside Craig, since Heidi moved to go with some other bitch. The tired boy bobs his head and grunts.

"What I'm not even good enough for real words?" Craig flips off the other. Kenny laughs and shakes his head.

"What are we doing anyway?" The brunette asks after a yawn.

"Literally 'studying a family'."

"Our families?" Kenny looks over the instruction hand out.

"Apparently any family." The orange clad boy shrugs.

"So, who's family you wanna stalk?"

"Well are we going to make this interesting, or boring." Kenny leans back in his seat, arms crossed.

"Well we could do my family, or someone else's in this god forsaken town." Craig mentions and flips the blond off because of his subtle insult to his average family life.

"Not my family dude. My family is fucking insane." The blond snorts.

"I'm too boring. We'd fail cause this bitch wouldn't make it past the first page of the report." The raven motions towards Miss. Kelly.

"Actually," Kenny sits forward and examines the hand out again. "It's a documentary. We're filming or making a slideshow of this, dude."

"Fucking A."

"No kidding. No way am I filming my drunken dope junkies I call parents."

"No way am I filming your drunken dope junkie parents either. And my family would just flip off the camera and we'd get nothing done." The bell screams, signaling the end off class. The boys stand to leave the class together, both not exactly desperately trying to figure out who to document.

"When's this shit due anyway?" Craig asks on the way to the caf in the left wing of school. The two have been sticking together in the female dominated class and have in turn become a little closer because of it. They can often be seen with each other in and possibly even out of school sometimes.

"I dunno like three weeks from now." The blond shrugs. When the reach the caf they walk to the two guys gangs regular table. They arrive last at the table, their 'punishment', like all others who are late to lunch, is to sit beside Tweek Tweak. The spazzy boy who never sits still and emits random out bursts almost periodically. Both boys take up the empty spaces left on either side of the boy.

"AH!" The coffee addict jumps after the boys sit down. As a result he has once again, spilt his coffee all over the fucking place and earned growls of distaste from around the table.

"ACK! JESUS MAN! M-my Dad only gave me enough for one cup today! Christ! I n-_need_ more! MORECOFFEE!" The small boy tugs at his hair. Both Craig and Kenny have simply sat there watching the scene play out in horror or silence. Neither are usually men of many words.

"Here." Craig pulls out a few dollar bills from his pocket and handed it to the trembling boy. The latter looked back and forth between the donation and the brunette a few times before taking the money and scurrying off to get his fix.

After the blond leaves Craig notices Kenny looking at him with a goofy maniacal grin.

"What?"

"I know who we're doing our project on." The brunette tilts his head. Soon enough his eyes widen in realization. He nods his head in the direction in which the small boy took off. Kenny nods and his grin widens.

"Tweek," The ragged boy rests his head upon his palm as the spazz returns to his seat.

"Gah! Jesus! W-what?" He takes a sip of coffee.

"We have a proposition for you." His frightening grin returns again.

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**A/N For the record, the line 'he pulled a few dollar bills from his pocket' I actually absentmindedly put in 'grabbed a tonnie'. I felt retardedly Canadian for a few seconds there. Gosh I am such a fail. **

**Hope you enjoyed this! Next chapter probably soon while I have the idea in my mind. **

**Review? I thrive on criticism and compliments friends! **


	2. What Are We Doing?

**A/N I don't own anything but these words.**

**Enjoy! :)

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Chapter 2: What Are We Doing?

"Ack! W-what kinda proposition?" His thin bony fingers clench the paper cup like his life depends on it.

"Well Tweek," Kenny pauses as he attempts to pull a lie out of his ass. "We are doing a documentary on… Coffee! Yes! Coffee! For, um, media class?"

"I like coffee." The boy in the middle's head jerks violently to the side.

"No shit." Craig deadpans. Kenny sends a glare as if to say 'don't fucking blow this'.

"Yeah, we know you Dad owns a coffee shop right? 'Tweak Bros.'?" Tweek nods and takes another sip of his drug.

"Gah! Y-yes!"

'As if that piece of shit shop is still open.' Craig thinks to himself.

"Well how bout it? Do you mind if we document you guys?" This poor boy has no idea what he's getting himself into.

"ERGH! L-like cameras and stuff?" Craig and Kenny both nod. "Pressure! O-okay." The naïve blond finally agrees with a smile.

**~X~**

"Kenny why did you bother lying?" Craig questions the blond as they leave the caf.

"Would he have honestly gone for 'Tweek, your family is insane, can we document it?'"

"You never know." The tall boy shrugs.

"Craig, buddy, be reasonable. Tweek is up for ANYTHING with coffee. Shit I bet he'd fuck you in the middle of the caf if you were naked, covered in coffee grounds." The brunette stops to send Kenny an 'I'm unsure of your sanity' look.

"Anyway. I guess we'll be using all my electronics, since you're poor an all."

"Hey at least I'm managing to pay my cell phone bills!" He holds up a small orange device.

"With what, your prostitution money?"

"Well yeah look at me. I'm not cheap." They both laugh at the lame jokes being thrown.

"Alright I'll see you tomorrow Ken." Craig salutes the blond before they head in separate directions to their lockers.

**~X~**

"So it's Friday. Should we like ask to go over to Tweeks tonight?" Kenny lays himself on the class table he's sitting at beside Craig.

"Sounds like a plan. What exactly does the project say?" Craig's head finds his palm and rests. Kenny recomposes himself and pulls the out the green sheet. The poor pathetic text book has a shit load of loose papers sticking out of it, leaving Craig to wonder how he even get's any work done. He probably doesn't.

"Umm 'Choose a family, with children to document.'" The blond pauses. "Why is children underlined?"

"Just keep going." Craig flips him off.

" 'Accentuate the facts of that family's type, how the number of children effect the family, whether any members of the family have 'disabilities', the family's daily rituals. Also document possible traditions or anything see you feel is important. Make an eight to fifteen minute documentary of your findings. You have Three weeks. Good luck. Don't screw this up.'"

"Does it actually say that?"

"Yup."

"Hm."

"God that bitch needs to get laid."

"No kidding."

The rest of the class is spent by Craig playing the Tetris app on his iPhone, and Kenny reading a porno. Time very well spent in deed.

**~X~**

Today the boys _purposely_ sit on either side of the curious blond.

"Spaz," Craig deadpans after the two sit down.

"AH!"

"Spaz we need to go over to your house tonight."

"Is that cool with you dude?" Kenny adds, trying _his_ best not to screw this up. He need this mark to keep his average… Well… Average.

"Eng! Yeah! It should be!"

"Alright we'll be there at what, 6?" Kenny nods affirmatively to Craig's question. "Yeah we'll be there at 6."

**~X~**

**Craig: get yr ass over here **

**Me: my ass is on its way ;)**

**Craig: lookin frwrd to it**

Kenny laughs aloud as he texts while walking to his friends house.

**Me: forward and backward and forward and backward**

**Craig: … that doesn't even make any sense**

**Me: ya no like in and out and in and out**

**Craig: … yr and idiot.**

**Me: ah but I'm YOUR idiot ;)**

**Craig: no yr not**

**Me: then y am I on ur doorstep?**

Craig looks up from his living room sofa where he's been awaiting his friend to see the cheeky blond waving at him with a stupid grin.

"It's about fucking time." He flips Kenny off after walking out with a backpack of electronic supplies and sleep wear.

"Awe you missed me!" The finger makes another appearance. "Maybe just a little?" Kenny grabs the arm of his friend's grey jacket. Craig makes a tiny space between his index finger and thumb. "I knew it!" The brunette flips him off again as the walk up to the Tweak residence.

"Oh hello boys, Tweak is up in his room." The kind brown haired woman steps aside to let the boys in from the cold.

"Thanks." The boys chime and kick off their boots.

"Would you boys like some coffee?" She asks calmly.

"Would I!" Kenny exclaims.

"Alright I'll bring you boys some brew momentarily." The woman disappears. Craig, having been childhood friends of the tweaker, knows where most things are in the home, including the boys room.

Craig's hand reaches for the doorknob, but before he can turn it, Kenny grabs the brunettes pale wrist. With a devious grin the blond places an index finger on his lips. Craig just rolls his eyes and steps back.

"Tweek!" Kenny shouts as to purposely scare the boy.

"SHIT CHRIST!" Tweek jumps and nearly falls from his spinney blue office chair.

"Kenny you're such a dick."

"Well that's good, cause then I know you'll like me." The cheeky boy winks at his friend, who in turn flicks the finger. Kenny makes his way to Tweek who is of course convulsing, while Craig gets out the small rather expensive video camera. He presses the big red record button.

"Here's your coffee boys." Mrs. Tweak leaves the two mugs atop a side table.

'And so it begins.' Craig thinks sarcastically.

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**A/N **

**Remember to review valued readers! :D **

**Hope you enjoyed! **


	3. Why Not?

**A/N Thank you for your kind reviews :)**

** Hope you enjoy!**

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Why Not?

"Ah, thank you so very much Mrs. Tweak." Kenny sends the woman a toothy grin.

'God what a cheeky little bastard.' Craig muses at Kenny's often displayed charming antics.

The two boys sit on either side on Tweek who is happily enjoying his coffee.

"Kenny what am I supposed to be filming?"

"Tweek how much coffee do you drink?" Craig's question goes ignored as Kenny is much too concentrated on the caffeine junkie.

"Gah! Umm w-one cup when I get up, another before I l-leave for school! –Ack! Another when -Jesus!" Kenny quickly grabs the cup from the boys trembling hands before it's contents are spilt. "Oh God! Sorry!"

"It's cool dude. Another when?" Kenny remains calm as usual.

"Ah! T-two at lunch, one r-right when I get home, andanotherfordinner! Eng! And one more when I take my pills beforeIgotosleep!

"You sleep?" The raven camera holder asks flatly.

"Ah! F-for the past few years I have been!"

"What do you take Ritalin or something?" Kenny enquires. Tweek nods spastically.

"Ah! Calms me down man!" For some unknown reason, at that moment Craig can't help but smile. It was probably at the irony of the situation in front of him.

"Did you just smile?" Kenny looks past the camera to the brunette. With that the smile disappears almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"No."

"Yes you did!" Kenny grins and makes a grab for the camera.

"You're gonna break it dumbass." After the blond's victory he holds the camera up to film Craig. The irritated boy flips his straight black bangs out of his eyes before flippin' the bird.

"Awe come on smile Craig! Don't you wanna see him smile, Tweek?" Kenny moves the camera to face the tweaker.

"Pressure!" The small boy's bony fingers fly to his face to shield it from the lens.

"Awe you two are making me sad!" Kenny pouts. He removes a hand from the camera and attempts to move Tweeks' hands away from his face. The warm touch of the larger boys' hands to small blonds' cold fingers relaxes the trembling boy for a moment long enough for Kenny to get a few seconds of Tweek's big brown eyes completely open without any blinking or twitching.

"Eng!" Suddenly a shiver runs through the boy ruining the silent moment.

"Kenny, do something productive." Craig moves to try and snatch the camera again.

"But I did your mom _yesterday_!" Tweek actually cracks a smile and begins to laugh. The self appointed cameraman films the boy who's uncontrollably laughing to the point of hitting his head on the wall behind him.

"Ah! Christ man!" He yelps in pain. Craig quickly moves close to the teen.

"You okay?" The brunette pulls the small boy closer to him, _attempting_ to show compassion.

'Oh how cute, Tweek's blushing. Poor kid probably lacks physical contact, and then the two of us just barge in here and scare the shit out of him. Fuck I'm still filming!' Kenny quickly presses the red button and the device beeps, signaling it's off.

"I'm f-fine." Tweek mumbles trying desperately to look away from Craigs' intimidating grey blue eyes.

"Alright love birds let's keep this party rolling. Shall we move this shindig to the kitchen? Get a few words from your parents on the matter?"

"Sounds good." Craig replies. Kenny offers Tweek a hand to which he reluctantly obliges. The boys walk to the kitchen where they find Tweek's mother.

"In the kitchen, exactly where she should be." Kenny announces under his breath. The comment earns a swift elbow to the gut from the brunette beside him.

"Oh hello boys. Do you need more coffee?"

"Yes!" Tweek screeches and darts for the pot. The other two friends politely decline the offer and Craig begins to film again.

"Do you boys need anything?'

"Actually we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions." Kenny asks in a professional tone. Well more like the kind of tone that's professional to an untrained eye, but would never fool your friend's, kind of tone.

"Of course." The woman pours herself another cup of coffee.

"How long has your husband's coffee shop been under his management?"

"About twenty years now."

"So before Tweek was born?"

"Yes."

"Has the shop always done well for itself?"

"Well not exactly… Quite frankly the Tweak Blend tastes like two-week-old sewage slush containing vomit and carcass. But I suppose some people like it." The blond interrogator tries his best to keep the laughs down, but can't help but crack a smile.

"Do you use his blend at home?"

"Oh heavens no! Just in the first maker there you see on the counter. The second and third brewing machines hold 'Maxwell's House' coffee."

"Gah! W-what if he finds out your lying? Jesus Christ! Pressure! H-he'll kill us both!"

"Now Tweek what have I told you about joking about death? It's not a joking matter."

"Ah! He'll sell me to some Mexican rapists that'll use me in the underground sex trade! Ah! I can't take that kinda pressure man!" Tweek sinks to the floor and pulls mercilessly at his unruly hair.

'This movie is going to be epic.' Kenny thinks to himself, as he can no longer hold back his laughter. The blond sends Craig a thumbs up, to which he returns with a bit of a grin.

"Tweek it's time for you to go take your medication and get some rest." His mother says sternly with her hands on he hips.

"Eng! Ok!"

"How many pills do you take anyway?" Craig asks from behind the camera.

"J-just one before bed! Ah!"

Just over an hour later the small blond can be found in a dazed and confused manor leaning against the wall in the corner of his room on the floor. Craig and Kenny have already stripped to their pajama pants and t-shirts, and are now watching the boy halfheartedly.

"Holy shit dude. He looks like he just took a fucking hit."

"No kidding." Craig is lazily holding the camera at the blond who is falling in and out of consciousness.

"Why is he on the floor?"

"Cause no one bothered to move him to his bed."

"Well should we?"

"Probably. It is _his_ room after all."

"Yeah and that position 'll give him a sore neck."

"Hm." Craig flips the camera window closed and turns it off. Both the boys get up to lift the blond to his bed and tuck him in.

"Fuck. The kid sure is heavier then he looks." Kenny arches his back in a stretch.

"Well he's practically dead weight right now."

"Gnomes…" Both boys whip back around to look at the dormant teen. "Uh… don't let the gnomes get me…" The boy suddenly falls asleep completely.

"I wish we would have gotten that on tape." Kenny chuckles. The two boys settle in on the floor for the night.

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**A/N**

**Next chapter will probably be up soon enough.**

**Don't forget to review! :D **


	4. How Come?

**A/N So I already had this written so I though I'd post it. **

**I'm trying to keep the chapters short.**

**Also I'm attempting something the show 'Soul Eater' did with the whole **

'**I'm gonna end in the middle of a climax so you watch the next episode' thing. **

…**but there isn't much of a climax in this story. **

**Whatever. I'm gonna get back to studying.**

**Hope you enjoy! :D**

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Chapter 4: How Come?

After the two project partners returned home that morning, Kenny had spent the day texting Craig who had been working on their project. Now the afternoon, Kenny has decided it's about time he went to try and help the other boy and not be a total deadbeat partner.

"So how much do you have done?" Kenny falls to his friend's bed and sighs.

"Um about two minutes so far." Craig shifts slightly in his seat and drops his head to his right hand.

"Damn. How much more should we add?"

"Well genius, we need 8 minutes and I _just_ said we have 2 done."

"Oh… Right…" Craig smirks slightly while he worked on the video. 'This kid is too much.' He plays over a clip of Tweek muttering conspiracies while pulling at his baggy shirt.

"Hey Craig?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you single?" Craig's dark eyebrows furrow at the randomness of the question.

"Why do you want to know?" 'Why do you care? Is more like it.'

"Don't be a pussy. Just answer the damn question." Craig spins his chair around to face the boy sprawled comfortably on his bed.

"Because girls are bitches." He responds flatly.

"What about boys?"

"Guys are dicks."

"Oh come on you prude. There _must_ be a few exceptions."

"Not really."

"Am I a dick?" The boy thinks back to the many time skinny blond has helped him when no one else was around. Like the time in fourth grade when Kenny co-directed and produced 'Close up animals with a wide angle lens'.

"You swindled me out of my birthday money." He counters.

"Oh come _on!_ Dude you _know_ that was Catman's idea! And as if you haven't gotten that money repaid yet."

"Hm."

"So am I a dick?" Kenny sits up on the bed now. His thin figure is exposed with his hoddie removed.

"No." Craig shrugs before he spins his chair back around.

"So what would you do? Say if you _hypothetically_ found someone who's not a dick or a bitch, what would you do?"

"I dunno, fuck. Whatever people do when they like someone?"

"Fair enough."

'I just said you aren't a dick. Fucking kid can't take a hint?' Now for the record, it's not that Craig has emotional issues expressing shit. Believe it or not, he's actually just rather _shy._

Craig moves his attention back to the in-progress project. Tweek on Ritalin. Fuck if that's not a good time.

"Why you smiling Tucker?" Kennys' lanky arms fall over the teens' shoulders. Their faces are almost touching, the blond's mouth is now directly beside Craig's ear. The flirty boy passes the gestures simply and smiles at the video playing on the computer screen. "He has really nice eyes." Kenny's smile grows as he remembers filming Tweek after downing a whole cup of coffee in less then a minute.

"Actually I was just thinking the same thing." Craig remarks flatly. He tilts his head slightly only to find Kenny barley a few inches apart.

"Um Kenny?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?" Kenny shrugs and flashes his cheeky grin.

"Noothhhingggg…" The blond rubs his nose to Craig's. A small blush creeps it's way onto the brunettes usually expressionless face. The tint of course doesn't go unnoticed by the other who is so close very close and certainly invading Craig's personal bubble. Though to be quite honest, he doesn't really mind. At all.

"Well can you do something about that?"

"Sure." Kenny closes the space between them. Their mouths simply press together and hang there for a moment before the space is once again evident between the two. A sly yet charming grin forms on Kenny's blushing face.

'Get back here you fucking loser.' Craig wraps a hand around the standing boys neck and pulls their lips together once again. Kenny pulls the other to stand, making their positions more comfortable. Since both are pretty much the same height, their movements natural and easy. Craigs' being rather gentle and calm, while Kenny is playful and exciting. After a few heated moments the boys break apart. Kenny rests his forehead on his newfound partners as they both smile.

**~X~**

"Morning Tucker." Kenny approaches his new boyfriend who has his head tucked into his crossed arms over his Family Studies class' desk. The teen rolls his eyes and swiftly pulls off the sleeping boys blue chullo.

"Ugh." The irritated boy lazily looks up only to find his boyfriend's grinning face. The blond dangles the cap, which Craig quickly notices is gone. He hates it when people can see his hat hair publicly.

"Good morning!"

"Hey." Craig manages a small smile.

"Hey Heidi," Kenny puts on his charm when the girl turns away from her friend in her seat beside Craig. "Would you mind switching partners with me? I mean, at least until this project is done with?" Heidi simply rolls her eyes, grabs her belongings and stands to continue her girly conversation with her friend beside her.

"You're such a flirt." Craig rests his chin on his hand furthest from his partner.

"I just do what I do best. Speaking of doing things, what the hell were you doing all night? You look like you haven't slept in a week."

"Tetris."

"That's unhealthy."

"So is dying all the time."

"Touché." The blond twins his fingers with the boys dangling hand beside him. Craig forces himself to look away as a light blush creeps onto his cheeks. Ms. Kelly makes her way lazily into the noisy classroom to begin her lesson.


	5. When Do We See Him Again?

**A/N Ugh. So, I haven't watched South park in almost a month.**

**If I weren't already insane, I would claim my state now to be complete insanity.

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Chapter 5: When Do We See Him Again?

"Alright class do whatever you want. I need to finish this chapter of my book. Sir Romeo is just about to sweep his princess off her feet and blah blah blah fuck off." Ms. Kelly finishes her short, sweet, and too the point twenty minute lesson before taking another swig of alcohol laced caffeine.

"Want some coffee in that Vodka?" Kenny murmurs under his breath.

"How did this chick even manage to get a job?" Craig deadpans.

"Who fucking knows."

"Whatever. We should update her on our project situation."

"Hm. Yeah dude." The two boys let go of each others hands and make their way around the 20 some girls to their teacher.

"Good morning Miss. Kelly!" Kenny greets the woman with a joyful smirk.

"What the fuck do you want McCormick?" She moves her cold blue eyes up from her book.

"We have an update on our project status for you Miss. Kelly."

"Stop saying my name you cheerful little bastard."

"Alright, well (Miss. Kelly)" He mutters the name just to piss her off. By this point Craig hasn't been able to help himself from grinning. "We thought you should know what family we're doing or something like that."

"I suppose. Is it either of _your_ pathetic folks?"

"Nope! Actually, it's the Tweak family."

"Isn't that the paranoid little spazzy kid who's like way too short to actually be 16?"

"Oh so you know him?" By this point Craig has to cover his mouth from laughing.

"Yes his father owns that deadbeat coffee shop over on Main Street."

"Yes! That would be their family."

"Pfft. Bunch of fucking loonies."

"Pretty much. Anyway, so that's who we're documenting."

"Ah. Well I suppose that's better than just being flipped off for 8 minutes. Or watching a couple alcoholics fight and smoke up." Craig flips the woman off, while attempting not to laugh. "Rightfully earned. So is that all you boys wanted to talk to me about?"

"Pretty much." Kenny shrugs; still smiling.

"To be honest I didn't think either of you slack jobs would have even bothered to do this project."

"Well aren't we just full of surprises!" Kenny puts his hands to his hips.

"Anything else?" Both boys shake their heads 'no'. "Good. Then leave." The women shoos the two away and returns to her romance novel.

**~X~**

**Sexxy- 12:31: whn do i get 2 c tweek again? we havn't filmed in like a week. **

**Me- 12:31: don't u have nxt class with him**

**Sexxy- 12:32: i do **

**Me- 12:32: could u ask him if we could go over 2nite**

**Sexxy- 12:33: ok babe so did u notice anything about ur phone?**

**Me- 12:34: when the hell did u change yr name on here**

**Sexxy- 12:34: lunch when u wernt lookin ;)**

**Me- 12:34: … yr an idiot**

"Mr. Tucker, put the phone away." Craig's English teacher returns to whatever she was talking about. The brunette simply flips her off when she turns her back. Suddenly his hoddie pocket vibrates again.

**Sexxy- 12:37: ah but I'm ur idiot ;D**

**Me- 12:37: -_- I suppose**

**Sexxy- 12:37: :D 3**

**~X~**

"Hey Tweek," Kenny approaches the cowering blond when he enters 5th period.

"AH!" Kenny places a hand on the shivering boys shoulder in attempts to calm him down.

"May Craig and I come over to your house after school today?"

"Gah! A-actually I have to –Eng! W-work!"

"Do you work at your Dad's coffee shop?" Tweek presumably nods, though it just looks like a muscle spasm.

"Alright, perfect. Could Craig and I stop by to film maybe?"

"Ergh! Sh-sure!"

"Alright, we'll walk there with you after school. Wait up for us by the doors.

"Gah! O-okay!"

"Do you walk?" Tweek presumably nods again. "K." Kenny texts the directions to his boyfriend after making his way to his seat.

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**Hm. Well, thank you everyone who is reading this story for reading this story. **

**Even though you may not review, I still appreciate it. **

**Though feel free to. Really. No harm done in criticism. **

**I need to know how to improve, and for that I need YOU! My readers! :D **

**Your opinions are valued!**


	6. Where Are We Going?

**A/N**

**Thank you for your kind criticism and compliments reviewers! :D**

**So I wrote five chapters. In one day. I didn't do dick all in homework this weekend. Ugh. Oh well, this was way more fun :P**

**This is short. Enjoy!

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Chapter 6: Where Are We Going?

Craig makes his way out of the crowded school to the two blond boys awaiting him outside.

"Hey Craig!" Kenny waves obnoxiously from beside the nervous looking Tweek.

"Hey guys." The raven sends a faint smile to the two and they begin walking. Kenny stands close to his boyfriend and laces their fingers together as they walk. The gesture is subtle enough that it would go unnoticed by most.

Tweek is not like most.

"Ah! Jesus!" The tweaker screeches, breaking the silence between the three.

"Fuck what?" Craig jumps slightly as he just about had a heart attack.

"Oh Jesus man! Ah! Are you two –Gah! TOGETHER?" Tweeks' hazel eyes have never been larger.

"Um didn't know you were a homophobe Tweek…" Kenny drops his boyfriend's hand and scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

"GAH! N-NO! I'm not! Ack! I swear guys!"

'Actually _quite_ the opposite…' Tweek thinks nervously, only to quickly shake the thought (literally) in case the other two could read his mind.

"We won't hold hands if it bothers you Tweek." Craig tells the blushing boy flatly.

"It doesn't –Eng! Bother me… At all…" He trails off and continues , none of that actually surprised either of them. Tweek's insane behavior must be rubbing off on them.

"Son you're late. Hurry back here." Mr. Tweak scolds just as the three teens enter the warm coffee scented haven.

"GAH! S-SORRY!"

"Craig, grab the camera!" Kenny whispers loudly into the brunettes ear. Craig does as ordered and quickly retrieves the device to begin recording. He leaves his boyfriend's side to get a quick shot of the shop.

"Ah! Do you guys w-want some? I'll –Ergh! I'll buy!"

"Sure!"

"Cheep prick." Craig mutters, forgetting that his voice is being documented.

"Craig, come have latte babe." Kenny pats the tall bar chair beside him. Though instead of sitting beside his boyfriend, the cameraman makes his way around the counter to film Tweek's barista skills.

"Ah! Y-your not supposed to be back here!" Tweek scream whispers as he shakily creates his guests drinks. Craig simply shrugs and moves closer.

"Ergh!"

"What's wrong Tweeky?" Kenny asks from the other side of the counter. His chin is rested childishly in his palms.

"He's makin' me nervous man!" Tweek mumbles as he caps the first drink and moves to the second. Craig raises a brow and smirks a little. The raven moves closer until he is towering over the smaller blond. He passes the camera over to Kenny who quickly puts down his drink. The two have a sort of _wavelength_, if you will, in most situations. Kenny is fully aware of his boyfriend's intentions and is sure to get it on tape.

"Still nervous?" Craig whispers flat and heavily into the smaller boys ear.

"AHH!" Tweek jumps and his hands fly up. The hot liquid falls to the ground and spills. The blonds eyes are shut tight, and his teeth clenched.

"Shhh…" Craig wraps his hands around Tweeks tiny waist in attempts to calm the anxiety patient.

'I like how he fit in my arms…'

'He's so warm…'

'Dayum those two are hot together.'

Suddenly the bell rings above the shop door, catching all three off guard.

"Shit." Kenny whispers and quickly shuts off the camera that he forgot was filming the two in front of him.

* * *

**A/N**

**Review?**


	7. How Much Left?

**A/N Thank you again for your reviews! :D They make me sooo happy :)**

**Ah! Sorry! The chapters keep getting shorter!**

**I still don't own anything but these words. **

**Enjoy!

* * *

**

Chapter 7: How Much Left?

"Sorry..." Craig mutters before reluctantly letting go of the small blond and fetching some paper towels to clean up the mess of coffee.

'Fuck what am I thinking? I can't pull shit like that with Tweek. Well… It's not like Kenny was attempting to stop any of it… Actually, he seemed rather thrilled.' Craig cleans the mess under the baristas feet while he serves the customer.

"I'm so sorry!" Tweek dives to the floor to assist the brunette as he cleans.

Through the blonds struggles and squeaks something is set off in Craig. The teen is so wrapped up in thought at the moment that he doesn't notice his hand moving towards the others face until his warm fingers brush the blonds soft jaw line. Tweek squeaks quietly, which of course goes unnoticed by Kenny because of it's regularity.

"Hey you giving Tweek head down there babe? What's taking so long?" Kenny suddenly stands to look over the counter at the two on their hands and knees.

"Ah! S-sorry!" Tweek quickly stands with the dirty paper towels and scurries to the back.

"Awe he's so cute." Kenny sits back in his tall seat after checking out the backside of the tweaker.

"Yeah…" Craig trails off and stands to return to his boyfriend.

**~X~**

"Fuck the project's due next week Craig. Are we done yet?" Kenny wines from his boyfriends bed.

"What's this _we_ Kenny?" Craig continues to work on the video.

"Oh come on! You won't even let me touch your damn computer!"

"You don't know how to use the program. There would be no point in letting you touch it. Just come and watch this so far and make sure we have all the stuff needed." Kenny grabs the now slightly crumpled green handout and makes his way to sit on his boyfriends lap.

"All this video makes me realize I how adorable that kid actually is." Kenny tilts his head to touch the brunette's.

"I know right?" A smile tugs at Craig's lips as the video ends. "Anyway, do we have all the required stuff?"

"Well we chose a family with a _child_," The blond mocks the underlined word. "We _accentuated_ the families insane rituals of worshiping coffee, the fact that Tweeker's mom has a secret from his father, how seriously Tweek's dad takes the coffee business, Tweek on meds, how his parents make him work alone at the store,"

"Fuck." Craig interjects Kenny's list.

"What?"

"We forgot to say how like him being an only child effects the family."

"Shit you're right. So I Suppose we need another day with him?"

"I suppose." The two grin at the anticipation of being around the endearing addict for a longer amount of time.

**~X~**

The couple enter the cafeteria and make their way to the guys usual table. The two sit on either side of the blond spaz in the middle, who actually calms down slightly at their arrival.

"Ergh!"

"Tweek we need to talk to you." Kenny gently removes a strand of hair that had fallen in front of the tweakers' hazel eyes.

"Gah! A-about?" The nervous boy shivers at the touch.

"We need another day with you to finish our project." Kenny's hand then makes it way to atop the closest thigh of the small blond beside him.

"Eng! Al –Ack! O-okay…" Tweek mumbles. His grip on the cup of coffee in his hands tightens when he realizes the boy next to him is yet to release his hand, though continues on with a conversation elsewhere.


	8. Why Are You Doing This?

**A/N Heres a little longer chapter to make up for the last ones :P . As I said at the beginning, this is all done while I'm supposed to be studying. I only have one more day of studying. So the story probably only has one more chapter.**

**Still just own these words. Nothin else.**

**Enjoy!

* * *

**

Chapter Eight: Why Are You Doing This?

'Oh God! They're coming over again! Jesus! I can't take it anymore!'

"GAH! PRESSURE!" Tweek squeaks out. He sits at his bedroom desk, pulling his hair when suddenly the doorbell rings.

"Tweek dear, there are a few boys here to see you!"

"Hey Tweekers!" Kenny throws his arms out to hug the cowering blond who is holding the bedroom door open for his guests.

"AHH!" Tweeks hands fly to his hair as the taller teens body wraps around him.

"You okay?" Kenny pulls away as soon as the blond screams.

"Ngh! N-no!" Tweek uses all his force to push the other away. Kenny stumbles back into his apathetic boyfriend.

"Twe-"

"NO!" The addict screams and yanks at his wild hair. "GAH! I can't do this anymore! Ahh!" The couple remain still, both patient and genuinely interested in what the blond has to say.

"Ahh! Y-you both! Gah! You're a couple right?" Both nod. "THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP T-TOUCHING ME?" Tweek screeches at the two. The teen is almost in tears as he stairs helplessly at the couple in front of him.

"We'll stop if you want." Craig states flatly. Kenny turns to send his boyfriend a 'that's not the point' glare.

"Tweek," Kenny moves towards the cowering tweaker until he is but inches from his face. "What's _actually_ bothering you?" The taller asks softly.

"Ergh! Oh god!" Kenny waits patiently as always. "Y-you both –Gah! N-no one touches me! B-but then you _both_ just come along and like -Ah!"

'Hmm he never said he doesn't want us to touch him. I guess he's just… Confused.' The lanky boys arm wraps itself around Tweeks lower back, puling the smaller boy closer. Kenny's other arm moves to brush a strand of messy blond hair of the boy's in his arms. Tweek simply stares at the teen, mouth slightly agape; unaware of how to handle the situation, but loving it nonetheless.

"Hmm… I like your face." A sly smile grows on Kenny's face before he lightly pressing his lips to the others. Craig simply rolls his eyes at the flirt and walks towards the two. The brunette stands behind the small boy and wraps his arms around the blond's tiny waist. Kenny removes his face from Tweek's to turn the latter's head towards his boyfriend. Craig presses his mouth hungrily to the blonds' long desired lips, while Kenny possessively bites the smaller blonds neck. After a moment, both pull away panting heavily.

"How's that for touching Tweek?" Craig asks jokingly to the furiously blushing teen.

"Ah!"

"So shall we get this project done?" The couple both drop their arms from Tweek and move away like nothing happened.

"GAH! I don't understand!"

"You don't understand what Tweek? That we both like you? That you like two people? Two _guys_?" Craig asks impassively.

"YES!"

"Awe Tweekers it's okay. We like you, you like us, what's the problem?" Kenny asks happily.

"W-what? There's three of us man!"

"So?" Both boys chorus.

'They're insane! Jesus!' Tweek pulls at his shirt nervously.

"So Tweekers, how does being an only child affect your family?" Kenny asks calmly from the teens desk.

"What? How does th-that have anything to do with coffee?"

'Shit.' Kennys eyes grow wide at his realization.

"Um Tweek, we have a confession. We're not actually in media class, and this isn't really a documentary about coffee." Craig deadpans.

"WHAT? OH GOD! Are you two just filming me f-for shits? O-or is the government paying you? Oh god! They're gonna take me away! Jesus man!"

"Tweek!" Kenny shouts to break the tweaker of conspiracies.

"Tweek, the government isn't going to come get you. This was a project for Family Studies class. Since both ours are fucked up we didn't want to do them." Craig explains rationally. "So we decided to do yours since we thought it would actually be interesting."

"And you're awesome!" Kenny adds excitedly.

"Oh… W-well why did you bother lying to me?"

"I didn't think you would go for the whole 'can we stalk you for a few weeks?' approach." The tall blond asks from over on Tweek's bed. Craig pulls out his camera to begin recording.

"F-fair enough…" Tweek sits beside Kenny on his bed as Craig begins to film. "Eng! W-well I guess it's lonely to be honest. Th-there's never anyone around… My parents don't really care and –Gah! And no one hangs out with em because I have ADHD and -Ack! A coffee addiction." Without thinking Kenny quickly presses his lips back to his fellow blonds'.

"Fuck sakes Kenny." The raven-haired cameraman rolls his eyes again at his boyfriend.

"What! I missed them." The orange clad boy jokes and leaves Tweek flushed once again.

"Heh… Um, and, um… I guess my family doesn't go on a whole lot of trips together, cause of my anxiety. And there's no other child pushing t-trips or anything…" Tweek awkwardly pulls at his hoodies long sleeves.

"Well you won't be very lonely anymore now will ya?" The tall boy wraps his arms around he convulsing boy and kisses his cheek.

"Kenny. Do I need to do the questioning? Cause if you just keep touching the kid, then I will take over." Kenny flips off the cameraman, who returns the gesture unmoved.

"Awe babe just get our pretty faces so I can at least hold his hand."

"W-why do you guys like me?" Tweek interjects the bickering couple quietly.

"You're cute." Craig responds flatly.

"You're sweet." Kenny nuzzles his head to Tweek's cheek.

"You're insane."

"You're awesome!"

"You have nice eyes."

"You're awesome!"

"You're funny."

"You're aw-"

"Kenny I swear to god if you say awesome one more time."

"Aw-mazing?"

"Oh…" Tweek can feel his face warm after the joined compliments of the other boys.

* * *

**A/N I know there are people reading this. **

**You're hiding! REVIEW! I want to know what you think! **

**I must improve, I need YOU!**


	9. When Will This Be Done?

Chapter 9: When Will This be Done?

"So, the project is due tomorrow, right babe?" Kenny asks the brunette both him and Tweek are connected to while walking home from the movies.

"Yup. We went to the early so I could finish it up tonight."

"Ngh! C-can I come watch tomorrow?" Tweek asks innocently from the other side of the tall brunette in the middle

"Of course you can, Tweekers! Right, Craigy?"

"Kenny, are the nick-names necessary?"

"They sure are, Craigy-boo!" The middle boy rolls his eyes.

"Yes, Tweek, that's fine." Craig drops his hands from his boyfriends to unlock his door. The two blonds attach after giving Craig a kiss goodnight.

"Night baby! Don't stay up too late touching yourself!" Kenny shouts from the end of the Tucker's driveway.

"What did he just say?" Ruby, Craig's little sister, asks as he enters the house. He just flips the kid off and continues on his way.

**~X~**

"Ahhh…" Craig leans back in his rolling computer chair, satisfied of the completed work before him. 'It's about fucking time this is done.'

The brunette cracks his knuckles before the little freshly burnt DVD pops out of his disc drive. He packs up the project and checks the clock. '2:35. Hm. What's one more game of 'Tetris?''

**~X~**

"Good morning!" Kenny greets excitedly to his boyfriend as he enters the Family Studies room.

"Ugh. No need to scream." Craig makes his way to his boyfriends. Tweek is seated on the taller blond's lap, twitching and shaking.

"I'm just so excited! I finally get to see the final product!" Kenny pats the open seat beside him.

"Hm. It's okay I guess."

"Alright ladies, time to hand in your projects!" Miss. Kelly rubs her temples at her desk before taking another sip of the warm liquid in front of her.

"D-does she –Ack! Does she have coffee?" The blond addict asks from atop his boyfriend's lap.

"Well she's got 'Bailey's'. There _might_ be some coffee in there." Craig stands to grab the disc and tattered green paper from his pack.

"Don't bother handing it in, Tucker. You, and the charity case, are first." A few girls enter the class with a television cart.

"Kenny, get your ass up here." The tall blond removes the smaller from his lap and pulls him up to the front of the class.

"My ass is on its way, love!" Tweek clings tight to his blond boyfriends arm. This many people is sure a lot of pressure to be standing in front of, even if you don't have to speak!

"K, so, um, this is our project." The brunette raises the disc and proceeds to pop it into the machine. Kenny rolls his eyes at the pathetic intro.

"We decided to do our project on the lovely Tweak family. Craig's family is too boring, and mine is too unstable. Enjoy ladies!" The three move off to the side to watch. Craig presses play and the show begins.

* * *

**A/N The original chapter was about 3,000 words long, so I split it into 3 parts. **

**Next is the video! XD**


	10. What The Hell Is This?

**A/N Warning, this actually takes ~ 10 minutes to read. **

**You can time it if you want. I did. **

**I thought it was important for it to actually be between 8 and 10 minutes.**

**Though, mumbled it with the characters voices. It's fun! You should try it! XD**

**It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to do this, and this is my final decision.**

**So for explanation: **

**The little bracket arrows (^) are clip breaks. They were originally stars, but Fanfic was like NO. Then just arrows. Still no. Ugh. I was about to kill this. XC So watch out for them. **

**Each characters name when followed by a colon (:) is what their dialogue.**

**The _italic _writing is explanation of what is happening. **

**And the bolded writing is just white, or black (use your imagination) on the opposite shaded background. **

**K.**

**And start the stopwatch…. NOW!**

**

* * *

**

**Family Studies 2011**

**(^)**

**Studying: Tweak Family**

**(^)**

**By: Craig Tucker & Kenny McCormick**

**(^)**

_Opens to Kenny in Craig's bedroom._

Kenny: Is it working? _Kenny squints, his face only inches from the camera lens. _

Craig: Is the red light on?

Kenny: Ummm… YES! Hello Family Studies class! This is the McTucker experience! For you today are so very pleasured to watch us stalk and interrogate the interesting Tweak family! Let's go! _Said blond waves goodbye and begins to laugh._

Craig: You're such a fucking cheeky little bastard.

**(^)**

_Camera glimpses around Tweek's room before settling on said boys mother entering the room._

Kenny: Ah, thank you so very much Mrs. Tweak. _Mrs. Tweak hands the blond a coffee._

Craig: Kenny, what am I supposed to be filming?

Kenny: Tweek, how much coffee do you drink?

Tweek: Gah! Umm w-one cup when I get up, another before I l-leave for school! –Ack! Another when -Jesus! **(^)** Ah! T-two at lunch, one r-right when I get home, andanotherfordinner! Eng! And one more when I take my pills beforeIgotosleep!

Craig: You sleep?

Tweek: Ah! F-for the past few years I have been!

**(^)**

_Cuts to the three downstairs in Tweak kitchen_

Kenny: In the kitchen, exactly where she should be.

Mrs. Tweak: Oh hello boys. Do you need more coffee?

Tweek: Yes! _He runs to the coffee makers_ _and frantically pours himself a glass._

Kenny: Actually we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions. **(^)** How long has your husband's coffee shop been under his management?

Mrs. Tweak: About twenty years now.

Kenny: Has the shop always done well for itself?

Mrs. Tweak: Well not exactly… Quite frankly the Tweak Blend tastes like two-week-old sewage slush containing vomit and carcass. But I suppose some people like it.

Kenny: Do you use his blend at home?

Mrs. Tweak: Oh, heavens, no. Just in the first maker there you see on the counter. The second and third brewing machines hold Maxwell's House Coffee.

**(^)**

**Secrets…**

**(^)**

Tweek: Gah! W-what if he finds out your lying! Jesus Christ! Pressure! H-he'll kill us both!

Mrs. Tweak: Now Tweek, what have I told you about joking about death. It's not a joking matter. _Off to the side, Kenny can barley contain himself. _

Tweek: Ah! He'll sell me to some Mexican rapists that'll use me in the underground sex trade! Ah! I can't take that kinda pressure man!

Mrs. Tweek: Tweek, it's time for you to go take your medication and get some rest.

**(^)**

**Drugs…**

**(^)**

Craig: How many pills do you take anyway?

Tweek: J-just one before bed! Ah! _Tweek swallows the pill, as Kenny films right at his face for full effect._

**(^)**

**An hour later…**

**(^)**

_Tweek is lying against the wall in the corner of his room._

Kenny: Holy shit, dude. He looks like he just took a fucking hit. _The camera zooms in on the blond whose head falls forward._

**(^)**

_A shot of the orange, blue, and brown decorated coffee shop is seen. The camera is then focused in on Tweek in his little orange shop apron, looking scared shitless from behind the counter._

**(^)**

_Craig is sitting on a stool in front of the counter, looking bored as usual. Mr. Tweak is sipping coffee calmly behind the store counter. _

Craig: Mr. Tweak, how many days a week does your son work here?

Mr. Tweak: Our son works here almost every evening after school, except Thursdays.

Craig: Why not Thursdays?

Mr. Tweak: He has yoga on Thursday nights. _Kenny chuckles from behind the camera. Craig subtly flicks the boy off so Richard cannot see._

Craig: Does he work alone?

Mr. Tweak: Yes. The coffee business is not one that requires many people making it together. You see; coffee needs to be handled single handedly with great care. It is a child that needs only its mother-

**(^)**

_The clip cuts out the rest of Mr. Tweak's metaphorical rant. The scene changes to Craig, and Tweek, walking in front of the camera. Kenny turns the device around to film his face._

Kenny: We're walking Tweek to his yoga seminar thing right now. It's fucking cold out! _Kenny turns the device back around. He proceeds to run in front of his friends, and walk backwards to film._

Craig: Christ, I'm freezing my nut sack off out here. You do this _every_ Thursday?

Tweek: Gah! Y-yes! M-my old therapist, like, three years ago t-told me I gotta calm down, man!

Craig: Does it help?

Tweek: I guess! –Ack!

Kenny: I thought coffee calmed you down, dude?

Tweek: Ah! It does, man! B-but at least I don't have to listen to my Dad's metaphors for a few hours!

Craig: He fucking kept us in his shop for, like, an _hour_ telling us how coffee is the root of life.

**(^)**

_Tweek is currently standing on his arms; his legs are over his shoulders, perpendicular to the floor. _

Kenny: Dude! That looks like it fucking hurts! _Kenny whispers loudly._

Craig: Yeah, what is that one called?

Tweek: 'The Flying Insect'. It's for advanced learners. _Tweek answers calmly. Kenny shifts the camera to the brunette beside him._

Kenny. Dude, Tweek being calm? Isn't that like a paradox or something? _Kenny jolts the camera back around to the small blond, who is now flipping him off with one hand, and keeping balance with the other. _

**(^)**

_Scene changes back to the addict's bedroom. Tweek is nervously standing, his face flushed. _

Kenny: So, Tweekers, how does being an only child affect your family?

**(^)**

_Kenny and Tweek are how sitting hand-in-hand on the small boys bed._

Tweek: Eng! W-well I guess it's lonely to be honest. Th-there's never anyone around… My parents don't really care and –Gah! And no one hangs out with me because I have ADHD and -Ack! A coffee addiction. _Kenny quickly pecks his lips to the small boys._

Craig: Fuck's sake, Kenny.

Kenny: What! I missed them! _Tweek's entire face is beat red. The small blond shakes nervously from beside his boyfriend._

Tweek: Heh… Um, and, um… I guess my family doesn't go on a whole lot of trips together, cause of my anxiety. And there's no other child pushing t-trips or anything…

Kenny: Well you won't be very lonely anymore now will ya? _Kenny wraps his arm around his fellow blond and swiftly kisses his cheek. _

Craig: Kenny. Do I need to do the questioning? Cause if you just keep touching the kid, then I will take over. _Kenny flips off the camera. _

Kenny: Awe babe just get our pretty faces so I can at least hold his hand! **(^)** So, Tweek, your family doesn't go on many vacations?

Tweek: W-well –Ergh! M-my parents leave me home alone a lot to go to coffee conventions! It's kinda –Ngh! F-fucked up.

Craig: Coffee conventions? Really? That is fucked. _Tweek nods spastically._

**(^)**

_Scene cuts to family pictures that are displayed in the den of the Tweak residence. Craig can be seen filming in the reflections. The camera stops on the middle of three wedding pictures of Tweeks' parents._

Craig: How long have your folks been married, Tweek? _Tweek can be seen walking towards the pictures in their glass reflections._

Tweek: -Eng! S-since I was two! _The camera moves on to a picture of the three family members. Tweek is seen as a toddler in a small little black tuxedo._

Craig: Awe. Weren't you cute. _The cameraman deadpans. _So, that's, what? Fourteen years?

Tweek: -Ack! Y-yes! _The camera shifts to a picture of Tweek, in a diaper, grabbing desperately at a coffee cup his father is dangling just out of his reach._

Craig: How long have you been fucking drinking that shit?

Tweek: C-coffee? Ah! As soon as I was off the bottle!

Kenny: I bet his mom drank enough of it Tweek was getting it straight from her fucking tit! _Kenny shouts from the couch. The camera turns to a blushing Tweek, who is looking around, embarrassed of the very true fact._

**(^)**

_Clip opens to Craig setting up the camera, while Kenny and him are in the Tucker's basement._

Kenny: is it good? _Craig sits back on the couch._

Craig: Hm. _The blond passes his boyfriend a PS3 controller. _

**(^)**

Kenny: So, they're what? A 'nuclear' family?

Craig: Yeah, married parents and a kid under the same roof. It's the epitome of 'nuclear'.

Kenny: What are you, smartass?

Craig: That one with a single parent and one child is. What are you? Inbred?

Kenny: Hey, fuck you, Tucker! I checked! My parents are 100% NOT related, okay?

Craig: As if you eve had to check.

Kenny: Kyle did for me when Cartman first found out what inbreeding even is. He ripped on me for about a month for it. Ha! Headshot, bitch!

Craig: Fuck you. Oh, pwned your ass there homo.

Kenny: So, the whole single child thing affects him 'cause he has to do all his parents chores.

Craig: And they leave him home alone, so he's lonely and shit.

Kenny: And they don't go on trips, cause of his anxiety, right?

Craig: Take that fudge packer. Oh, yeah, something like that.

Kenny: The kid just needs to get laid.

Craig: Is that your solution to everything? Whenever someone is uptight, you always tell me they need to get laid.

Kenny: YOU fucking need to get laid. Chill out, it's just an expression. Oh, and yeah, sex IS the answer to every predicament, by the way.

Craig: Make love, not war?

Kenny: -craft.

**(^)**

_The scene changes to Craig, and Kenny, with Mrs. Tweak at the Tweak's dining room table. She, of course, has a cup of coffee in hand. _

Craig: So, what is Tweek specifically diagnosed with?

Mrs. Tweak: Attention Deficit Disorder, and anxiety.

Craig: Who confirmed that?

Mrs. Tweak: The therapist we had Tweek seeing for about six months.

Kenny: Just six months?

Mrs. Tweak: Oh, the doctor took away Tweek's thermos. _Kenny begins to laugh. _Tweek then proceeded to attack the poor woman.

Craig: R-really? _The boy behind the camera asks between bursts of quiet laughter._

Mrs. Tweak: Yes, it's true. We were issued a restraining order. _Kenny is now doubled over in hysterics._

**(^)**

_The three boys are sitting on a bench at the shore of Stark's Pond. _

Craig: Kenny, pay attention. _The camera quickly shifts away from being zoomed in on a bird in the sky._

Kenny: WHOA! _The blond exclaims form behind the camera. Forgetting to zoom out, he is now filming his brunette boyfriends' face VERY closely._ Dude! This camera is sick! _Craig rolls his eyes._

Craig: Tweek, we heard you have a restraining order on someone?

Tweek: JESUS MAN! W-which one?

Kenny: You mean there's more than one? _The cameraman, and the raven beside him, begin to chuckle._

Tweek: Ah! Th-there's one from the dentist, th-the pet store guy, -Ergh! M-my old therapist, Stephan Spielberg and G-george Lucas, um! GAH! And I'm n-not allowed back in Pennsylvania! _Silence looms over the three as Craig just stares at the small convulsing blond._

Kenny: The pet store guy?

**(^)**

_The clip cuts to a close up of Kenny's face. The three are all still at the pond._

Kenny: So that concludes our 'project' Even though it was really just interrogation for three weeks! _The camera is moved away from the blond's face to be held out in front of the three boys._

Tweek: Gah! _Tweek shouts from the middle of his two taller boyfriends._

Kenny: What did you learn, Craigy-boo? _The raven flips off the cheeky boy._

Craig: Well I guess this wasn't a complete waste of time. _The two outer boyfriends kiss the smaller blond of either cheek. The image pauses as words appear to the screen._

**Fin.**

**A retarded documentary by Craig Tucker & Kenny McCormick**

**

* * *

**

**A/N And STOP! **

**~10 minutes?**

**Did you read out loud? **

**It's more fun that way, I promise! XD**


	11. Who Has A Porno?

Chapter 11: Who Has A Porno?

The girls of the class erupt in catcalls, and giggles.

"Well boys I suppose this will do. Its not exactly what I had in mind, but it works." Miss. Kelly shrugs, and pulls out a cigarette from her desk to enjoy.

"So what, are you all fags now?" Bebe shouts from the back of the class.

"Pretty much!" Kenny calls to the back.

"Why didnt you just do a 15 minute gay threesome porno?" Red asks from beside Craig.

"AH! Sweet Jesus, man!" The small blond on Kennys lap yelps.

"I guess we could have. Why didnt we, Craig?" The brunette turns to face his boyfriends after grabbing his disc from the player.

"Oh, I have that video in my bag if you guys wanna see it." The tall boy deadpans.

"Really?" A group of girls, and both blond boys chorus; Tweek asking more out of fear than curiosity.

"No."

* * *

**A/N **

**Phew!**

**Well that was one of the funest things I have ever written.**

**These were the lamest possible chapter titles I think anyone could produce. Bleh XD**

**I hoped you enjoyed this lil Creneek multichap! **

**Comment, favourite, complain, criticize; let me know what you think! **

**Now, I actually have to start studying. :D**


End file.
